The 90s

 Sometimes I wish I could go back to the 90s. My college days. I wish I could be at the university, learning new things, hanging out with friends, my whole adult life ahead of me. I would go home to my Mom and Dad, have dinner with them, do my homework, listen to my music. My Mom and Dad were in their 50s then. I am in my 50s now. It's crazy to think about that. Mom has been gone for almost eight years now. Dad is still with us, but the Alzheimer's takes him away from us slowly, day by day. He's not the same, but I do get glimpses of him from time to time. It's so sad. My poor Dad. His life has been reduced to watching TV 16 hours a day in a small room and sometimes he forgets where he is or what is going on. It's so unfair! He was such a great Dad and husband! And my Mom. I am glad she is not here to see him in this state, but man, we miss her so much! I would give anything to speak to her again. There is so much I wish I could talk to her about. I am thankful she is not in pain anymore, but she left us so soon!

And then there is my godmother. She left us this past June. I am so thankful I was able to see her one last time before she passed and tell her I love her. But with her passing, another chapter is closed. I am happy she is in Heaven with my Mom. I recently viewed the photos of my godparents' house on zillow, and oh, so many memories. It feels like a second home to me. So many holidays spent there. As an adult, I can remember popping in on Thanksgiving or Christmas to visit, and seeing my sweet Mama sitting on the couch smiling. She was so beautiful. So was my godmother. They made the best friends! 

Time is a cruel thing! The best memories become distant as time moves on. But then again, so do the worst moments, so I guess time can be good. I do miss my Mom so much!!! I love you, Mom!!!! I hope you are enjoying paradise!!! Please say hi to Pap-Pap and Grandma and Sharon for me! I will see you someday!!! Love you so very, very much!!! <3