Still in Limbo

I saw a video clip today of Lecrae talking about how he almost left Christianity. It turns out his issue wasn’t with Christ but with Christians. That sentiment really resonated with me. It is exactly how I have been feeling since last fall, when the white evangelicals revealed just how far they were willing to go to push their agenda of “Christian” values.  The backing of a candidate, and now president, who regularly displays the most un-Christian behavior of any U.S. president in history, is puzzling to me at best, intensely disturbing at worst.  It is no secret that evangelical Christians, as a group, tend to disavow such things as abortion and gay marriage and propose gun rights.  So, it is not unsurprising that the evangelical community might back a Republican president. But to back an individual who consistently attacks and slanders entire groups of people, who has no respect for anybody, who has a long history of lying, cheating people and taking advantage of the poor and disenfranchised, is antithetical to the message of Jesus Christ.

Some would say, “but Jesus wants us to love everyone.” Yes! He does! Christians should try to love everyone, even the president. However, there is a huge difference between loving someone despite their flawed nature and putting this person in power over an entire nation while standing idly by as he spits in the face of the very foundation of Christianity: love. Because at the end of the day, isn’t love supposed to be the driving force of what it means to be a Christian?  That God so loved the world that he sent His only Son as a sacrifice for us? And we should also sacrifice ourselves in love to others.

So, what would Jesus do? Would Jesus be a Trump supporter? Would Jesus stand idly by and ignore the awful things that come out of our president’s mouth? Would he be happy about deporting undocumented immigrants who have built a life here? Would he support a blasé attitude toward white supremacy? Would he agree with the president’s “my way or the highway” attitude toward other world leaders? None of us can know for sure, but the Jesus I know would not support or stand idly by in face of any of those things.

The Jesus I know would do whatever he could to help the poor and disenfranchised. He would be a promoter of world peace, of shelter for refugees, and of inclusivity for people of all races and nations. In other words, he would be advocating not a political party, but LOVE.

Maybe the reason so many evangelicals support Trump is because they simply cannot support a liberal agenda that includes abortion and gay rights.  But does it have to be either/or? Can’t you speak out against evil and wrongdoing while still protecting your own religious values? Can’t you call a spade a spade while spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ?

When the Christians within my network of family and friends became open about their support of Trump, it absolutely surprised and disheartened me. Here was a man who was about anything but love, and yet they supported, not just tolerated, but supported him. I felt as if a huge part of Christian America had sold its soul to the devil.  I haven’t been to church but once or twice since the election. I just find it incredibly difficult to worship beside people who are praising Jesus in church while defending sacrilegious behavior and rhetoric outside of church.  I cannot even look at my Christian brothers and sisters in the same way anymore. Their words seem hollow, meaningless. Their actions inconsistent with the message of Jesus Christ.

Perhaps the most disturbing to me, is that I have consistently been open about my crisis of faith, and yet not one person within my faith circle has attempted to reach out to me and offer their support. Perhaps it is because they are secretly ashamed of their support of the president, knowing full well this is not the man of God they pretend him to be. Maybe they are afraid of getting into a political debate with me. Regardless, isn’t it a duty to help your Christian brothers and sisters, especially through crises of faith? Shouldn’t the salvation of people be a priority, particularly if, as many believe, we are in end times?

All I hear in defense of the president is that we must respect our leaders, because that is what the Bible says, and that our leaders are appointed by God. But are we obligated to respect and follow someone if they are being led by forces other than God? I don’t care what prophets say—the Bible explicitly warns of many false prophets during end times. The litmus test is Christ. If a leader is doing the will of Christ, then he is being led by God.  If not, then he is being led by other forces and it is our Christian duty to rise up against this leader.  What if, during Hitler’s reign, everyone in the world just threw up their hands said, “Ah, well, what can you do? God put him in power.” Furthermore, “leaders” in Biblical times were kings who were appointed power, mostly through inheritance, not presidents who were elected by the people. One could make the case that in a democracy, leaders are not appointed by God, but by man. And man is fallible. Very, very fallible.

Consider this verse from the book of Jeremiah, chapter 14:

“Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture!” declares the Lord. Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for my people: “You have scattered my flock and have driven them away, and you have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for your evil deeds," declares the Lord.

Regardless of political or religious affiliation, most Americans agree that the president has worsened the division in this country, creating many hostilities among the people. So, who do we follow? Man, or God?

I choose God. Yet I don’t know if or when I will be able to go back to church and worship with other Christians. I have been praying for God to reveal to me a church that has compassionate believers who truly love their fellow man and want equality and justice for all people.  I need a pastor who leads his/her church toward God and doesn’t use God as a vehicle to fulfill his or her political desires. I need a church that is willing to speak out against false prophets and Christians who tarnish the good name of Jesus through their hateful words and actions. A church that, through its undying commitment to be the hands and feet of Jesus, brings people to salvation. I’m sure such a church exists. But where?